Ran's Torment
by Ink Runs Through My Veins
Summary: Five long years. She still waits. Waits for him to break her heart even when she knows that he will do it anyway. Warning: a little sad.


I don't own the characters. I attach strings to them and shout, "Dance marionettes! Dance for my pleasure!"

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><p>The hurt.<p>

I was always in pain. Even when I wasn't thinking about him, there was a certain ache in my heart that just hurt.

I was so sick and tired of waiting for him, even when I knew he'd come back for me someday. Many people told me I should just give up. Dad, Mom, Sonoko, Agasa-sensei, even Hattori-kun. I just ignored them and waited.

Waited.

And waited.

You get the point.

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><p><strong>'<strong>Always the bridesmaid, never the bride,' is a fitting term for me. I was always the maid of honor or a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding.

They were always the same:

A romantic feeling.

White dresses.

Billions of flowers.

My father always getting drunk and Mom always scolding him.

One hot kiss on the dance floor by the bride and groom.

A sudden marriage proposal by a man. Drunk or not there always is one. Then everyone at the party is invited to another wedding.

The cycle would repeat itself over and over.

Every time the bride threw the bouquet I was always the one to catch it. Catch _**them**_. A lot of them. Twenty to be exact. Even if the bride always threw it away from me it would somehow make its way to me. I tried to believe it was fate, that he was coming back for me someday.

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><p>My friends always threw sympathetic glances my way whenever their boyfriends or husbands kissed them on their cheeks, hugged them, and murmured soft words in their ears to make them blush or giggle. I told them I wasn't affected.<p>

That was one of the biggest lies I've ever told.

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><p>I always had a flock of male admirers. In high school, in college, even at the modeling agency I work for. I always kept it a secret from Shinichi and Conan-kun, but a bunch of love letters were always in my locker everyday. I never accepted them when I did meet them and rarely did I ever meet them. I always told them I was waiting for someone.<p>

**"**Kudou Shinichi-san? Hasn't he been gone for a while?"

I never answered.

**"**Why do you wait for him when you know he's not coming back?"

I still never answered.

**"**I can make you happy! Why won't you accept my offer for a date?"

I smiled and walk away.

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><p>After Shinichi left, every time they confessed I used to bring out a razor. I kept doing it until Conan-kun became suspicious. Instead I decided to do Karate more passionately. My instructor pushed me to become an international champion. I traveled all over the world for competitions.<p>

Paris, London, Spain, America, China, Belgium, Greece, even Mexico.

There were a ton of hot guys, as Sonoko would often point out. A lot of them glanced at me, again as Sonoko would point out. I just ignored them. Or, if they got a little too friendly, I would use my skills to show them I wasn't to be messed with.

Which was more often then not I'm afraid. Apparently foreign girls are really attractive in other countries.

My Dad and Conan-kun often accompanied me to these tournaments. Conan-kun was especially excited when we were travelling along Baker Street. I always laughed at the excited face the reminded me so much of Shinichi.

Then I mentally slapped myself for thinking of him.

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><p>Why couldn't I not think about him? The bastard who kept me waiting for years. The idiot who only called a few times a month. The beast who has my heart and selfishly took it with him when he left.<p>

Conan-kun reminds me so much of Shinichi that it hurts.

Don't get me wrong, _**I knew the whole time Conan was Shinichi**_.

I'm not stupid.

I have a detective father, a lawyer for a mother, and a body/murder magnet, detective, Holmes-loving best friend.

You have to pick _**something **_up when you live with bodies _**falling at your feet**_.

I always tried to get the truth out of him. Scaring him, tricking him, even crying! That one time with the Memory Egg case, I almost got him! If only Kaito KID hadn't gotten in the way! Oh, I knew that was him too. There is no way he would just come in and lounge around like that instead of apologizing for being away for months.

Ugh, really. What do they take me for? Just because my father is who he is doesn't mean I have his intelligence.

No offense Dad.

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><p>When Conan-kun disappeared after I entered the modeling agency Sonoko ran, Shinichi's rarer-than-rare phone calls disappeared. I became depressed and I just stopped living inside. I threw myself into my work; my modeling and my karate, both of which were making me quite famous. Sonoko and Kazuha-chan, who also worked there, noticed. They never said a word. Especially not Sonoko, who's Modeling Company expanded several branches thanks to the money I brought in.<p>

Kazuha-chan brought it up a few times, but I just deflected with another question or changed the subject. She was annoyed every time, but I couldn't take talking about him after all those years of killing myself not thinking about him.

I just couldn't or I would break.

Shatter.

Be blown away by the wind.

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><p>It was just an ordinary day when he called. I was walking in the park next to my apartment - my favorite place to go when I need some peace - and my phone suddenly started to ring.<p>

I had two cellphones: one for my friends and family and one for business. My personal phone started to ring. When I glanced at the caller ID, it said Private.

That stumped me. I always knew the name of those who called me. Especially those who called me on this phone.

Out of stupid curiosity, I opened the phone and answered it. "Hello?"

**"**Ran?"

With just that one word, my heart stopped. My eyes widened and I collapsed against an oak tree.

Tentatively, I whispered. "Shinichi?"

I could practically see him grin. "Hey! How are you?"

I could have killed him.

**"**How am I?" I shouted. A lot of people started whispering but I ignored them. "I've been waiting for you for five years for you to finally call me, you idiot, and you want to know whats up? I'll tell you whats up! The sky is up! The sun is up! But you're not here! You've been wherever the hell you were for five damn years and I can't believe I'm even talking to you when I should just hang up on your sorry ass and know you deserve it! Where the heck did you even get this number?"

He was quiet for a while before he answered. "Kazuha-san and Hattori gave me the number." I was going to kill them the next time I saw them. "Hey, are you free tonight?"

I considered giving him a no just to make him upset, but he was smarter than that and would ask what I was doing and ask to tag along. "Yeah, what's it to you?"

He sighed and muttered, "That's going to get annoying."

**"**What was that?" I asked sweetly. If he said what I think he said I was going to show him that my Karate skills had gotten better over the years. Five long years...

Damn that bastard! I should just hang up and forget it!

He gulped and hurried to cover up his mistake. "N-Nothing! A-Anyway, can you meet me by the park near your apartment? I'll take you out to dinner and we can talk."

I should have said no. I should have said go to hell bastard and hung up on him. I should have just yelled at him about being a stupid idiot and him never gaining my forgiveness.

I felt like being an idiot that day.

**"**Give me one reason why I should meet you after all these years of making me wait for you to come back. Give me one reason I should meet the person who made my life miserable waiting for _**him**_. Give me one reason why you deserve my forgiveness."

He paused for a while and I thought he hung up on me. I was about to hang up when he started to whisper. "I don't deserve your forgiveness. Nor do I deserve to see you. But Ran," His voice rose. "While I was away, I couldn't stop thinking about you. Every single second, every single case, every time someone spoke to me, all I could see was your kind face, hear your sweet voice, see your beautiful eyes and think, 'I really miss her. I know she'll never forgive me, but I really want to see her.' Can you grant me my five year long wish, Ran?"

**… "**Shinichi?" I whispered.

**"**Yeah?"

**"**Formal or informal? I don't want to go to an expensive restaurant only to look like a street rat. I have a reputation to uphold you know."

I could practically see his eyes smile and my heart became lighter.

Just like that, the torment in my heart was gone.

Hopefully never to return.

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><p>Hey, Ink here.<p>

I was just thinking about Ran and the future and suddenly, while I was in a Study period, this just came out! Let me know if I should have a sequel or not.**  
><strong>

Also, if I don't get at least three more reviews on Strong Butterfly I'm deleting or rewriting it. **  
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Anyway, I know Its Not Safe To Love isn't really being updated, but I'm trying my best to keep up this account, keep my grades up and make my parents happy by hanging out with people I don't like. Because they are all $^%()^% *(&!#% the lot of them. **  
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Like it or not, let me know!


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